Learning to love what is can release you from the frustration of dwelling on what "should be." When you accept reality as it is, rather than how you think it should be, you open yourself to greater peace and understanding in your relationships.
Shifting Perspectives: The Key to Family Harmony
We all view the world through our own unique lens, shaped by our experiences, desires, and expectations. This is true for you, your parents, and everyone else. Part of maturing is learning to step outside your own perspective and see the world through others' eyes. This shift in viewpoint is what ultimately makes you more gracious and loving.
Consider your relationships, especially those with family members. It's easy to feel frustrated when they don't meet your expectations or when their actions don't align with what you think they should be doing. But what if, instead of wishing they were different, you could accept them as they are?
I recently found myself grappling with this very issue. I was feeling disconnected from my parents during a visit, interpreting their actions as a lack of interest in my children's lives. I caught myself thinking, "They should be more involved," or "They should enjoy spending time with all of us, not just me."
But then I paused and tried to see things from their perspective. They're in a different stage of life, with different priorities and comfort levels. Their desire for one-on-one time isn't a rejection of my family, but perhaps a way of connecting that feels most natural to them.
By shifting my perspective, I was able to release some of the frustration I was holding onto. I realized that loving what is – accepting my parents as they are, with their own preferences and limitations – allowed me to appreciate the love that exists, even if it doesn't always look the way I expect it to.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't have boundaries or that you should accept harmful behavior. Rather, it's about finding peace with the reality of your relationships, focusing on the positive aspects, and letting go of the need to control how others show up in your life.
As you go through your day, consider where you might be resisting "what is" in your relationships. Can you find a way to shift your perspective, to see the situation through the other person's eyes? You might find that this simple act of mental reframing can bring more harmony and understanding to your family dynamics.
Be encouraged,
Matthew F. Wilson
