When others have a strong emotional response, that doesn't have to "make" you feel anything unless you let it. You have the power to choose your reactions, even in challenging situations. This is a skill we can all continually work on and improve.
Turning Triggers into Teachers: An Ongoing Process
Have you ever found yourself frustrated when dealing with kids or others who seem unable to control their emotions? Especially when their reaction is because they're not getting what they want? It's easy to feel angry and want to respond with force or discipline. But here's a revelation that continues to shape my perspective:
Before we can effectively handle the emotions of others, we need to work on our own emotional intelligence. The ability to maintain composure and presence is the foundation for success in parenting, business, and relationships. And let me be clear – this is something I'm still very much working on today.
This insight hit home for me during a challenging moment with my young son about a year ago. As I found myself getting increasingly frustrated with his emotional outbursts, I realized I was mirroring the very behavior I was trying to correct. At 45, I was only marginally better at managing my own anger than my 3-year-old.
It was a humbling realization, one that I continue to grapple with. I had to step back and ask myself: How can I expect a child to control their emotions when I struggle with the same issue? This moment of clarity showed me that every challenging interaction is an opportunity to practice presence and observe my own emotional responses.
The path forward isn't about forceful discipline or giving in to demands. Instead, it's about understanding the root causes of behavior, both in ourselves and others. It's about learning to respond rather than react, to teach rather than punish. And it's a path I'm still very much walking today.
As you go through your day, remember that the strong emotions of others don't have to dictate your own emotional state. You have the power to choose your response. And in that choice lies the opportunity for growth, better relationships, and a more peaceful existence.
Take a moment today to reflect on your own emotional responses. How can you use challenging interactions as opportunities to improve your emotional intelligence? The journey starts with each of us, and it's a lifelong process of learning and growth. I'm right there with you, taking it one day at a time.
Be encouraged.
Matthew F. Wilson
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